You're so vain
by Nitte iz
Summary: Just a regular B/V songfic pre-androids. Warning: Yamcha bashing.


Hi! This is my debut into the Bulma and Vegeta world. I've decided to finally write one of the B/V songfics I've been dying to do for quite a while – it's just a one-shot set during the infamous three years. Be warned there will be some *cough*extensive*cough* Yamcha bashing. So . . .

I do not own either the song or DBZ.

You're So Vain 

            (song by Carly Simmons)

            He was so, so . . . INFURIATING! That jerk, complete and utter a*hole he was. She cursed under her breath, calling him a slew of equally derogatory words. She slammed the door after her with a resounding bang. Oh, how much she would give to just wring his pretty little neck.

            She glanced around the empty kitchen before spotting a load of laundry, undoubtedly left by her mother before she hung them up. The blue-haired heiress didn't even hesitate to snatch up the basket, too filled with anger-induced energy to have her usual qualms about doing housework. As she proceeded outside, she clicked on the radio. Apparently a song had just ended and there was silence for a second before she recognized the startup for the next one.

            Perfect.

_You walked into the party_

_Like you were walking onto a yacht_

_Your hat strategically dipped below one eye_

_Your scarf it was apricot_

_You had one eye in the mirror_

_As you watched yourself gavotte_

_And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner_

_They'd be your partner, and_

            She couldn't help but give a frustrated growl. Ever since Yamcha's baseball career had taken off and left him rich, connected, and well known, his ego had shot through the roof. The days of him lying low in the desert as a bandit terrified of women were long gone. And now he dared to be condescending to her! Bulma Briefs, heiress to the world's richest corporation, with both brains and beauty!

            Of course on the upshot, he'd become much more style conscious. An apricot scarf, oh he'd like that, the peacock.

_You're so vain_

_You probably think this song is about you_

_You're so vain_

_I'll bet you think this song is about you_

_Don't you? Don't you?_

            Who did he think he was? She had practically made him! If she hadn't come along, he'd still be in that stinking desert! And now, he brushed her off after like she was insignificant!

            After all they'd been through . . .

_You had me several years ago_

_When I was still quite naive_

_Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair_

_And that you would never leave_

_But you gave away the things you loved_

_And one of them was me_

_I had some dreams they were grounds in my coffee_

_Grounds in my coffee, and_

            So naïve! Fifteen years and she believed every word from his mouth! But their relationship never really steadied, still that continual break-up and make-up. And he lost sight of the most important thing – her as a person. Submerged in a world of titles and contacts, she became a name and a face to him. His Bulma, the adventure-seeking woman with the Dragon ball seeker, was replaced by this image of Bulma Briefs, important socialite and scientist.

            And in the end, he had given her up to be a name on his own.

            His dedication to Martial Arts just barely survived. She snorted, his ego was the only thing that saved that – he was too proud to think he wouldn't make a difference when the androids came.

            Her dreams, getting married and raising a family, were shattered. Her hands fisted as anger surged through the tears that lined her eyes.

            B*!

_You're so vain_

_You probably think this song is about you_

_You're so vain_

_I'll bet you think this song is about you_

_Don't you? Don't you?_

            She hung the clothing with mounting viciousness, just about flinging them unto the clothes line, and bit out the words to the chorus.

            "Don't you? Don't you?"

_Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga_

_And your horse naturally won_

_Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia_

_To see the total eclipse of the sun_

_Well, you're where you should be all the time_

_And when you're not, you're with_

_Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend_

Wife of a close friend, and 

            Of course his horse would win! Lucky-

            She sung along, mocking the words. Luxury had definitely gone to his head, and extravagant pleasure trips had just been the beginning. Thank goodness she no longer had to foot the bills.

            Oh yeah, he'd be right where he should be, except when she needed him. He'd done his share of cheating and now that he was officially single – she could only imagine that he gave a new meaning to whirlwind dating.

            She gave a sudden grin. Yamcha had been on this superhero/spy kick ever since he had been wished back. He was still the third strongest human and he sure seemed to feel d* near invincible. Who knew that James Bond would become his idol – women, action, and prestige. Or maybe it was Batman: socialite by day, crime fighter by night.

            What a joke!

_You're so vain_

_You probably think this song is about you_

_You're so vain_

_I'll bet you think this song is about you_

_Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?_

            She was singing along vigorously by now.

            "I'm flattered woman."

            Bulma nearly jumped out of her skin, spinning around so fast she lost hold of the empty laundry basket. She ignored its landing on the ground in favor of standing in shock in front of Vegeta.

            "To think, you'd sing a song about me – and here I thought you didn't even like me. Too bad you sound like a dying cat at the same time." He was smirking as always, his arms crossed over his bare chest like usual.

            She flushed at his taunting tone. "For your information, it's not about you and I do not sound like a dying cat!"

            She snatched up the basket and angrily turned on her heel. She slammed the door behind her after entering the house, leaning against it.

            "Ooh, that infernal man! It should be about him! The nerve of him, the ego to think-"

_You're so vain_

_You probably think this song is about you_

_You're so vain_

_You probably think this song is about you_

            The words died on her lips.

            Her eyes widened in disbelief.

            "Did Vegeta just make a joke?"

            A smile wormed its way unto her face. "Maybe there's hope for him after all," she murmured.

            As she made her way to her room she suddenly broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Vegeta with an apricot scarf, preening in front of a mirror . . . the mental picture was too much.

             "Maybe."

            The muttered word echoed in the nearly empty hallway.

_You're so vain (so vain)_

_I'll bet you think this song is about you_

_Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?_

-------------------------------------

And there ya go! Not very impressive and a little more serious than I bargained for, but still I think it was okay.

I'm going to come out with another songfic, similar to this one soon.

Toodles for now,

Nitte iz

Oh and for the song purists – the words are actually 'clouds in my coffee', but I think grounds fits so much better.


End file.
